I was at a point where life's events had taken control once more; had made me stop and take stock.  I had been working with my husband,  as his labourer,  on our building firm for thirteen years and proud I could do that as a 5' 2" (on a good day) female over 50.  But the pandemic occurred. It impacted upon my ageing parents who had done well so far to maintain their independence.  It increased my stress levels as I tried, with my siblings,  to support them; sometimes from an enforced distance. 

The stress of the situation and others combined to reveal a blockage in my carotid artery that was causing me to have 'mini strokes' or transient Ischemic attacks (TIA's) as they are formally known. I  discovered that it is a genetic anomaly that makes me particularly prone to them and although there is nothing I can do  about that,  I can help myself by being as healthy as possible.  I have to keep my blood pressure down and I am sure you will agree, knocking up dumpy bags of ballast was not conducive to this

 so it was time, once more, for a change.

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My thought process

So I was being told - enough.  Our partnership had worked well over the years and we had achieved what we needed to to create stability in our lives, but I was being told that I needed to change my direction once more and the only one that made sense to me was a return to my spiritual work,  offering support to others.

So, I was considering my web design.   I was determined to create the site myself despite my total lack of tech savviness so do forgive me. I was thinking about how to present myself and I knew I wanted to be 'me' but if someone came to me for healing and learned via another source I was a builder's labourer for goodness knows how long,  what would their perception be?  

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I am many people

When I look back over my life I have been many people and I think that is true of all of us.  We live, we learn, we grow.  We put all the pieces together and an ever  evolving person emerges.  Some will have met me on my journey at points I wouldn't be proud of - I hope there aren't many but there will be  some as much as I hate to admit it! I go through all the ups and downs still,  but my  intention at this stage of my life is to aim to help others, if I can, with my particular skill set and view on the world.  Those who know me best, my very best friends who know the entire me say they are pleased that I am back to doing what is me being me, that which makes me happiest and fulfils me - so am I.

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So, my web design

Firstly, I think about our planet and the fact that there are many aspects of its climates, terrain, creatures and our many peoples with lifestyles that I am unaware of and it is just 8000 miles in diameter.  Then I turn my mind to the universe and its vastness.  I love the nebulae in particular.   An average nebula's size is measured in light years. That is multiples of 6 million million miles!  They are just smoky glimpses of spectacular colour and flashes of light from stars behind and those newly forming - they have me awestruck.  

The nearest one is so far away (700 x 6 million million miles) that it takes 1000 years for the light from it to reach our telescopes.  Can you imagine? I can't truly comprehend this.   By the time you see the images they are 1000 years old, out of date and certainly no longer exist as you are seeing them.

Essentially they could even have ceased to exist or evolved into something new. So in a way, the universe can exist and not exist simultaneously and you certainly can't trust that what you see with your eyes is what is truly there!

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The Universe and my work

The vastness and beauty of space reminds me that there is more that we don't know or can explain than we do.  It reminds me that  if there is something I am experiencing but do not formally understand it,  I should not just dismiss it.  That I should continue to try to learn and understand that which I am perceiving.  It also sits nicely with my thoughts about my personal evolution - ever changing, ever growing, ever learning.

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